I daydream about where they are going (Dubai? Hong Kong? Wellington? Tokyo? Kansas?!). What kind of interesting people are buckled up in those uncomfortable seats, eating crappy salted peanuts-- and if they aren't first class-- they aren't even warmed. First world problems. The nearest exit may be behind you. In case of emergency, illuminated movie theater-like lights on the floor will surely guide you to safety, life vests are under your seat and instructions about how to escape a downed airplane are ignored by well-traveled passengers who simply turn on their $400 Bose noise-cancelling headphones and read through Sky Mall mag. You'll be fine.
Me, before donning my Bose headphones on a flight from Dublin, Ireland last summer...
There's always one person who thinks their bag can fit in the overhead bin and everyone watching the chaos and struggle, this person trying to stuff it into the tiny space, knows that seriously, it's not going to fit. We all know. Then, stewardess intervention, every time. Like clockwork.
Also, what's up to the dude who always drinks too many mini Jack Daniels (or whatever) to keep us all entertained. Glad to hear you, you crack me up, but also glad you aren't sitting right next to me.
Why do people actually choose the aisle seat as opposed to a window where they can lay their head to rest? Every time I get an aisle seat, my arm and/or leg is nearly chopped off by unruly, 500-pound beverage carts. On top of that, views from the window are rad. Breathtaking. And instagrammable (it's an adjective, right?). I think those with aisle preference need bathroom access or hate the feeling of being "trapped" behind two other passengers. That's my guess. I still don't get it. Also, there has to be zero people who request a middle seat. Unless they are creepy. Amirite?!
Babies are usually crying on airplanes-- 99% of the time I just feel bad for the parents who, as hard as they try, can't seem to calm them enough to stop their sobbing. I think their ears hurt? Or being crammed into a plane in economy is simply unnatural and it sucks-- and they know it.
Another rant? Can I please never get on a plane that doesn't have a personal screen? Have we not come far enough in our technological evolution that we still are forced to sit in planes without personal TVs and on-demand movies?! I can't sit on a pan-Pacific flight without it, people. Yeah, I am spoiled, but hey, airplanes should be like, super high tech. I mean, they fly. TV's in every seat is not too much to ask.
But however uncomfortable, however comical the process of air travel is, I dream of being on that plane. Gracing the sky. Jetting off to exotic places. Even living in this paradise that is Hawaii, to see a whole new world, country, explore, have new experiences, it's so exciting to me. Can I please get paid to travel? I'm really good at it. And I have solid experience. Promise.
One pro-travel tip-- if you are doing a long flight, like from Tokyo to US-- try to upgrade. You get free champagne and actual silver (fake silver) utensils. And cloth napkins. And way more food. And way BETTER food. And legroom. And better blankets. And nice stewardesses. And sometimes eye masks and socks! Worth every penny (or mile), especially if you have to work the next day.
Also, enjoy the view as you leave where ever you are...take a deep breathe, get a little sentimental, and take it all in...you might never return..and it is, at least for me, cathartic, to say the least. Last view of the Ryukyu Islands in December 2015 (I vow to go back):
